Once, there was a person with many remarkable traits, but they didn’t see it. So, they often choose less than they should in friendships.
Guess what? That person is you!
And it’s not just you; it’s many of us.
The reason why it’s hard for folks to see their worth might be for another time. Today, I want to show you the awesome things you bring to friendships. I hope you start to expect more and spend time with people who value you.
As a coach, I help people find and grow their inner strength and worth. Part of that is showing them how great they are.
I’ll share some of those great things with you now.
Remember, this advice is for everyone, no matter who you are. It’s about being human.
1: Emotional intelligence.
High emotional intelligence lets us make good friends. We can be kind, understand, or know when to leave someone alone.
It helps us make our friends and ourselves better. We can talk more and listen well.
It lets us know what someone needs without them saying it. This is very important because sometimes, people are too shy to tell us what they need.
If you don’t have high emotional intelligence right now, it’s okay. You can learn it by watching how people talk and what they mean. It helps us in everything we do.
A close friend is excellent because everyone likes someone who gets them, feels connected, and understands them.
2: You’re tactful in your delivery.
Everyone likes someone who tells the truth, but no one likes it when someone is too rough with their words.
Both guys and girls have started to say, “I don’t care if you like me!” and say whatever they think.
It’s good to be honest, but some people know how to be honest without being mean.
You’re going to talk about lots of big things with your friend. You’ll need to tell them what you need. Sometimes, you won’t agree on stuff. You’ll need to be there for them when they’re sad…
How you say things is essential at all times. Like the old saying: It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it.
To simplify, Be honest, but don’t be mean about it.
3: Empathy.
SHEESH, is this a big one. A BIG one.
Empathy is the ability or practice of imagining or trying to deeply understand what someone else is feeling or what it’s like to be in their situation.
Empathy lets us help and be there for others when things get complicated. It means being the person someone calls for help or advice.
In a friendship, this is what you’ll do for your friend.
And your friend should do this for you too.
I think a friendship needs empathy to be its best. It might last without it, but the close friendship from getting each other won’t be there.
4: High self-worth.
It’s funny — people who know their worth don’t need to be told they’re great. They already know it.
But knowing your worth is still very important.
People who value themselves take good care of their time, feelings, energy, and body. They share these parts of themselves only with people who deserve it.
This makes something or someone exceptional — not everyone can be close to them.
Having high self-worth means you set rules for how you should be treated. People have to show they deserve your time, trust, and attention. They have to keep showing it to prove they mean it.
You might worry that this makes you seem too picky, but that’s the goal. It’s not about acting picky; it’s about being picky.
People who also value themselves will see this in you and will appreciate it.
5: Intellectual curiosity.
Wanting to learn new things helps us grow. It makes us keep learning, going to new places, discovering the world, and taking in all kinds of information.
This love for learning makes us more enjoyable.
Think about being with someone for a very long time. Would you want to spend your life with someone who finds nothing exciting? Someone who doesn’t like to learn new things, talk about deep topics, or grow together? Someone who doesn’t want to get better, learn new things, or move forward?
Both people must work as a team to have a happy life together. They need to build the life they both dream about. If one person doesn’t want to grow and be the partner the other needs, they can’t do their part well.
In a lasting friendship, both people must grow independently and together.
6: Real confidence.
I’m talking about true confidence, not just pretending or trying to make others think you’re confident. Real confidence is different.
We all agree confidence is appealing, but let’s dig into why.
Confidence means you believe in yourself. It shows you’ve worked hard, learned a lot, reached your goals, built good habits, or faced tough times head-on.
Getting absolute confidence takes effort.
And with that effort comes learning.
(Yes, that might sound a bit cheesy, but it’s true.)
This journey shapes you, teaches you about yourself and others, shows you what you can do, gives you the strength to stand up for yourself, and drives you to chase what you want because you know you can achieve it.
7: Class.
Showing class sets you apart. It’s not about how many people act or look without thinking about their actions or what they tell others.
I’m talking about how you act, not how you look.
Class is all about attitude.
Class means treating people with kindness and respect.
Class means treating yourself with honesty and setting high standards.
Class doesn’t depend on your money, home, car, or clothes.
It’s about how you decide to be in the world. And everyone can choose to have a class.
Don’t be fooled by perfect pictures on social media. Real class is about good manners, gracefulness, talking well, and confidently moving.
It’s not common, and that’s what makes it so unique.
8: Kindness.
Think about it: How often do you meet someone in your day and think, “Wow, they were nice”?
Probably not as often as you’d wish.
Life is super busy and stressful, and being nice to everyone we meet isn’t always what we think about first.
But, if we choose to make being kind a big part of who we are, it starts to show in what we do.
Being nice can be easy, like being patient with the person who helps you at the store, holding the door open for someone, or telling someone you like their jacket.
But kindness is more than just these tiny things. When it’s a big part of you, it changes how you treat yourself and the people you care about. Kindness brings understanding and peace. It makes you feel good about yourself. Kindness means giving without waiting for something back.
Kindness is like being a bright light for someone when everything else feels dark.
9: Patience.
Lately, I’ve been saying more and more — life is long.
When you pick someone to be with for all that time, you will be together a lot.
You’ll go through many changes.
Start new things.
Face some failures.
Learn lots of lessons.
And have new adventures.
Think about going through life’s ups and downs with someone who’s always in a hurry, doesn’t wait, and doesn’t care if you’re keeping up.
You won’t get to explore and learn at your own pace. You’ll always feel like you have to keep up. When you mess up, it’ll feel worse. And even when you do something great, you’ll barely have time to enjoy it before it’s on to the next thing.
Pick someone patient. Someone who knows life isn’t about rushing.
Rushing to finish first means you’re not winning at all.
10: Sex appeal.
Let’s think about this together before you get upset and rush to share your thoughts.
Everyone likes different things.
What makes someone attractive isn’t the same for everyone.
It’s not all about how you look.
And it’s not just about being born with good looks.
What people find attractive can depend significantly on what they like, where they’re from, and even their age…
But what matters is how confident you feel and connect with someone you like.
Being truly yourself is what makes you attractive. That’s what makes people notice you. That’s what brings the right friends close to you.
And that appeal lasts longer than being pretty or handsome, which can change over time. Your inner charm is something you always have, and you get to choose who sees it.
11: Passion.
Nope, this isn’t about the last topic we talked about. We’re not chatting about romantic passion here (even though that’s important too).
We’re talking about loving life with a big passion. Liking things a lot that makes you super excited. Being amazed by the world. Having goals, dreams, big plans, and something special makes you want to get up daily.
When you love life this much, you decide to make a life you like, no matter what others say. At the same time, you shine in a way that makes people come to you. You look like you have a special light, showing you live in a fantastic, different way.
You’re living on purpose.
You know where you’re headed and why.
That catches people’s attention; they also want to be bright with you.
12: Humor.
Life is already pretty serious. You don’t need to be with someone who makes it even more serious by not being fun or funny.
Sure, not everything is always fun and happy, and I’m not saying to be with someone who can’t ever be serious. It’s about finding a good mix.
Having a good sense of humor is essential. It makes things feel lighter, helps us get through tough stuff, and makes happy times even better.
Life will bring you enough reasons to cry together…make sure you have even more reasons to laugh together.
13: The ability to forgive.
Hey, guess what? You’re going to make mistakes in your relationship.
Both of you will.
You might say or do something that’s not right, maybe even both simultaneously.
Let’s hope it’s not intentional or meant to hurt because that’s a different issue.
But for honest mistakes, forgiveness and understanding are needed. Your relationship should have room for not being perfect because no one is.
However, if your partner never lets you forget the small mistakes you’ve made…if they keep track of every little thing to bring up later or make you feel bad…that’s not what love should be like.
Sure, some things can’t be forgiven, like being mean on purpose, not being faithful, or betraying trust. We all need to know what we can’t put up with from our partners.
But for the things that can be forgiven, forgiveness is the key.
14: Dedication.
I like to say dedication instead of commitment because it feels like you’re choosing to do it.
Commitment means sticking with someone or something for a long time. But that can sometimes mean going along with things and not doing much.
Just kind of… being there. You’re committed, but you’re not doing anything.
But dedication? That means you’re getting involved in the relationship.
You stay excited about romance. You make sure to have special nights out. You work on making your partner feel loved.
You stick to being healthy and fit to be there for a long time.
You’re there for your family, kids, pets, or anyone important to you.
Someone dedicated knows it’s important to keep putting effort into what they love and who they love.
They also know how rewarding it is to see the results of that effort.
15: Being YOU.
Here’s the big secret: Being completely yourself is the best thing you can be.
No one else in the world can be you.
Nobody else who has ever lived can have what you have.
There’s nothing more special than being “one of a kind.”
Many people try to be like everyone else, but when they do, they lose the most important thing they have: Who they are.
Everyone loves something that’s the only one there is. It’s the most valuable and wanted thing.
When you understand this and let your true self show, your light is something no one else can shine.
Don’t let what others think or say make you hide who you are. Don’t let others’ stories or limits they put on you cover up your true self. Don’t worry about fitting in; make your own space.
We only have one life — don’t spend it hiding who you are.
Let yourself be seen. Let yourself shine. Let yourself be free.
That’s the best gift you can give to yourself.