Finding a great and happy relationship can be challenging.
Sometimes, you work hard and give much love, but it is for the wrong person or relationship.
And sometimes, you end up in a really bad relationship.
In a bad relationship, you might feel too upset and hurt to handle other problems in life.
It feels wrong no matter how much you want the relationship to work.
That’s why I listed the fifteen big signs of a bad relationship.
Knowing these signs can help you leave early or set strict rules about what you’re okay with and what you’re not.
1. You’re constantly being compared to others.
Feeling loved and accepted for who you are is very important in a relationship. If we’re always compared to others, we can feel unloved and not good enough.
By comparing you to others, a harmful partner might say things that make you feel bad in a bad relationship. They don’t respect the wonderful person you are, focusing on what you’re not instead of what you are.
You deserve someone who loves you for you, not someone who wants to change you to be like their ex, their friend’s partner, or anyone else.
2. Your partner seems ashamed of your personality.
In a good relationship, your partner should make you feel more confident, not less.
If your partner keeps you a secret, criticizes everything you do, or makes you feel bad about yourself, that signifies a bad relationship.
It means your partner isn’t happy with some parts of who you are. But remember, that’s more about them than you.
Yet, it’s still a sign that the relationship isn’t healthy, especially if they make you hide who you are.
3. Your partner always invalidates your emotions.
It may seem like it’s about an emotionally abusive relationship.
Experts often talk about the slight differences between toxic and abusive relationships.
A key difference is why it happens. Galia Godel, an educator from Philadelphia, says abuse is about one person wanting to control the other. Toxicity comes from not being able to control things.
So, if your partner often makes you feel small, ashamed, or like your feelings don’t matter because it makes them uncomfortable, your relationship might be toxic.
4. They don’t respect your priorities.
You’ve often skipped essential things, like work or time with friends, to help your partner.
After a while, your partner expects these sacrifices. They won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, acting as if their needs matter.
It’s frustrating when they treat the relationship like it’s all about them and you’re just there to serve.
If this sounds like your situation, you’re probably in a toxic relationship.
5. You have no right to want what you want.
This point seems similar to the one before it. The first is about a partner who always wants you to say yes when they ask for help or anything else.
But this time, it’s about a partner who tries to trick you into doing things you don’t want to do. They do it so much that you forget what you like or need.
This kind of partner keeps pushing you to think about what they need more than you need. They make you feel bad, as if not doing what they want means you don’t care about them. But the truth is, you should not be in a relationship that makes you feel lost about what you need or want.
You deserve something much better, not a relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself.
6. You can’t trust them with your secrets.
Finding a person you can share everything with feels incredible. You share secrets because you love and trust them.
However, if this person you trust starts telling your secrets to others, leaving you feeling betrayed, that’s not good. It shows your relationship might not be healthy.
Not being able to trust them with any secret, big or small, suggests a toxic relationship. In a healthy relationship, this isn’t something you’d worry about.
7. They always shy away from taking responsibility for their mistakes.
It takes a long time, but you notice your partner doesn’t understand or feel your pain. They struggle to apologize when they hurt you, whether it’s on purpose or by accident.
You start to see that their need always to be correct and appear strong stops them from admitting their mistakes.
You question how you ended up with someone who lacks kindness and empathy, who doesn’t work to fix things, share what’s essential, or make things feel good again after they’ve caused hurt.
8. They often place you on the sidelines.
Everyone wants a partner who shows them they are important and valued.
Your partner might not put you first every day, but they wouldn’t ignore you, especially regarding their life, plans, decisions, and anything that affects you.
However, in a toxic relationship, you often find out last about their plans or big decisions, like a trip or a life change.
This is a sign of a toxic relationship. It shows your partner doesn’t value your thoughts on their decisions or respect you enough to keep you informed.
9. You’re lying about your happiness.
Before, your relationship had its ups and downs, but it wasn’t as bad as now. It’s turned into something that makes you unhappy.
There’s a big gap between what you truly feel and how you behave with your partner. Even more, you pretend things are okay to other people.
It’s common for relationships to face problems, but staying in an unhappy one and faking happiness can hurt your mental and emotional well-being.
10. Your partner often threatens the commitment of your relationship.
What was meant to be your haven has become a source of stress and worry.
Your anxiety, doubts, fears, and frustrations often overwhelm you, making you less hopeful about handling other stresses in life.
Your partner often threatens to leave at the slightest sign of trouble, adding to your stress.
11. Your relationship has become emotionally draining.
Taking care of the person you love the most now feels very tiring. You find yourself worrying about their problems more than your health.
It feels like a big job to continually help your partner with their troubles. This should not be so hard.
But it has become a problem because your partner is not trying to fix their issues. They also don’t help you much when you are struggling.
12. You’re constantly walking on eggshells.
Your once great relationship, where talking was easy and open, has changed significantly.
When you try to talk to your partner, you often feel scared and nervous.
So, if you’re always very careful about what you say or do around your partner, you might be in a bad relationship.
13. They’re tearing you down in the name of humor.
Teasing that hurts is one of the worst things in a relationship. It’s meant to be fun, but it’s not. Every time your partner makes a joke about you, you feel hurt, disrespected, and ashamed. This kind of bad relationship can break your confidence into pieces.
14. You can’t act like yourself around your partner.
Having a partner who loves and accepts you as you are is key in a relationship.
While having things in common is necessary, a partner who forces you to change who you are isn’t right for you.
Don’t settle for a bad relationship that doesn’t let you be yourself.
15. They make you constantly prove your love for them.
It’s natural to want to do everything for the one you love. But if you start feeling like you must act a sure way to show your love, the relationship isn’t healthy.
At that stage, it’s become a toxic relationship that only brings you stress.